Embarrasingly Hot...Remind Your Children

Datil Pepper
Datil Pepper

I love hot peppers. My oldest son, Ethan, loves them too. Ever since he was 4 years old, or so and I gave him some wasabi, he has been hooked. This is much to the chagrin of my wife who does not see the fascination in such seemingly painful hobbies.

I have always told my kids (both boys) that if you eat hot peppers, or anything spicy, to always spend at least five minutes scrubbing your hands like a surgeon before going to the bathroom. All it takes it one thermonuclear wing night with a font of eternal beer to convince you of this. Why? Well, hot wings to create the opportunity for pain, and beer for the lack of concentration on scrubbing. A lesson hopefully you learn once.

Roll forward…

Today, I had some of my wife’s homemade chili. It is really good, and extremely flavorful. Only one issue, if you read the first paragraph you probably figured it out: MILD. I needed to spice it up a little. I had acquired some Datil peppers this weekend. They are the fourth hottest peppers in the world. I sliced the peppers up into little 1mm wide rings. I rinsed them off, and added them to the chili. So far so good.

I ate the chili, and it produced the expectant fire that I was looking for. Awesome! Having consumed a couple of fire extinguishers (not beer: milk). I had to go.

I scrubbed my hands for about 5 minutes, and then went.

The Fire…

About two minutes later, it began. The sudden realization that Datil pepper oil was now where it should never be. My wife starting watching me writhe in pain, and starting laughing. It was obvious what the issue was. Between chuckles, she managed to get out the word: shower.

When a Good Idea…becomes a Bad Idea…

The slight cooling effect was not enough to overcome the pain. I decided to soap up and rinse extensively. The problem is that the capsaicin is oil soluble. Soap works by emulsifying oils. This “fun soap” fact is brought to you by PAIN.

Okay, so now I have an oil emulsion that I am spreading evenly over my body. Are you getting the picture. I would like to call this new method of torture: spreading the love.

Eventually, about 30 minutes and a bar of soap later, I managed to get the pepper oil off enough so that it is a “warm” sensation.

I decided to share this funny story for entertainment, and to provide a lesson.

  1. Use gloves when cooking, or otherwise manipulating any peppers on the top ten list.
  2. Also wash for at least ten minutes with a focus on the underside of your nails.
  3. Avoid putting your hands on your face especially near your eyes. (This was not the case with me. I put them someplace else…perhaps worse.)

Laugh..and enjoy.